roxzaic

Hello my fellows, My name is Roxanne AKA Roxc. I have arrived here to write my stories, poems, lyrics, quotes and memes. Unfortunate circumstances from decades of Domestic Violence, Financial Abuse, Emotional Neglect and Sexual Deviance, always searching my entire life to find out what was wrong with me. You name the book, self help groups and I've done them all tens of thousands of hours of research and overthinking. Yet my discomfort and pain persisted. I found myself flat on my face isolated without friends and family. I finally arrived to know my truth. Diagnosed in my 50's with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and "Borderline" Borderline Personality Disorder, which never goes without Codependency. Bounced around in and around, back and forth up and down between the 4 F's of Personality. Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn This blog is a ocautionary tale about living without an identity. Arrested development and all the dynamics of being out-casted from the family tree. So I became a nomad, gypsy, vegabond, lepor, blacksheep, scapegoat and orphan while my family was living, denying attempting to destinguish mental illness from the family tree. We are a society that has lost it's assembly and empathy. Over psychologicalized, indidualized without emotional literacy which will lead to our extinction eventually. None the less I still care about my lineage and why junk values were handed down instead of common sense values. In centuries past, a member of a group in society whom were different and odd were held in high regard and legitimacy. The only thing I have left is my pencil and lead to write where I was warned to fear places I did dare to tred. If you found yourself here, I invite you on a journey for hope and dignity. A place of creativity that often exists in survivors of family cults.